I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
