Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
