So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
