my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
well you can't waste a boner
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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