im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
