My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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