I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
