If that was your dad, he is hot
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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