ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize