C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
