please come you make the beer taste better
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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