Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
