I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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