Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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