nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
