And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize