We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
