Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
