Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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