I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
