This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
