I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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