My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
