A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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