Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
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fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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