i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize