I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
is that a dick in a sweater?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
