The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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