I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
