ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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