Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
