I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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