Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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