I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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