the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
