I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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