We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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