do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
