Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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