Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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