East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
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