I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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