Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
