I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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