in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
