I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
