he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
