Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
