remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
