I showed him my bush... on skype.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
