I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
