dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
