question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
