his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
