I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
