Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
