I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
