went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
