So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
