i don't plan on having that self control this summer
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
