I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
